The more things change, the more they stay the same

For the record, I suck at coming up with catchy titles for these things. I'm just not spontaneously creative like that. I loved to write in high school and at that time, I don't think I was half bad at it. I would write a story or a poem that was halfway decent, but then I'd get stuck on the title. Some things never change....

I had a good weekend. My boyfriend and I went to visit 2 of my best friends from college in Philadelphia. The 3 of us usually (somehow) make the time to get together a few times a year, but this was the first time we were able to orchestrate a visit with not only the three of us, but with all three of our significant others, as well. I learned two things after this weekend. #1: states need to coordinate when they do construction on the same road. Not only did my boyfriend run into traffic coming out of DC, we hit traffic right outside of Baltimore (ok, that was actually an accident), only to run into traffic in Delaware AND Pennsylvania. Fortunately, one of my friends had warned me about the traffic in DE and PA and we took a detour, but what is usually a very easy 2 hour drive turned into quite a stressful trip. But, we made it without too much added time and with plenty of time for socializing, which brings me to my second lesson: I cannot hang like I used to. Not that I'm upset about this. I'm not disappointed that I can no longer drink my weight in beer (sorry, mom!), but I tend to forget this when I get together with these friends. Let's just say I was hurting a little on Sunday.

It's interesting to think about how things have changed, yet stayed the same between the three of us. When we met in college I don't think we thought we'd still be such a big part of each other's lives 8 years later. It makes me happy to know that despite some major changes (school, moves, engagements, etc...), we've been able to adapt to those changes without losing each other (not that there weren't some growing pains--for me, that is). So, the tri-annual reunion in Philly was a blast. Next up, Baltimore in fall '05! Wohoo!

In other big, huge, gigantic news, I got the new job I mentioned a few posts back (or was it in the last post?). This was a little bit of a difficult decision for me. I love my students, I hate the thought of leaving them, mostly because so many of their great teachers are leaving, too. By the end of the year, many of my students mentioned how glad they were I wasn't leaving, too. It's such a tough situation. It's really hard for young teachers and professionals to stay in inner city school systems. Burn-out comes so fast. In my 4 years at my school, I've gained a complete understanding of how and why educators can become ineffective, resentful, and cranky. I've felt it seeping in. It's a bitch to counteract that kind of negativity and I consider myself one of the people with more energy and passion for what I do. So, I will carry some guilty for leaving my students for a while, but I do understand that that would have happened if I left this year or ten years from now.

Technically, I'm not completely leaving my students. The new job is at one of the universities in Maryland where I'll be working for a scholarship program for Baltimore City kids. The gist of the program is this: Every year, this school awards full scholarships (tuition, room, board, books) to students from 8 different city schools. The winners are kids who have succeeded both personally and academically despite great obstacles. I'm so excited because I'm already familiar with the program. I have 4 students already at this university on this scholarship and another starting in the fall. So, while I will miss my students more than I can say, I will also get to see first-hand what happens when they actually get to college. I'm so excited!

I have less than 2 weeks now until my last day at my school and I feel like there're a million things to do before I leave. What I haven't doubted, is that it's time for me to move on. Students aside, my heart wasn't as devoted to this job as it once was, and I want to feel passionate about what I do again. Maybe it won't be at my new job, but it isn't at my school anymore, either.