Wait, I have to be professional??

Ah, yes, the holiday season....the food, the decorations, the cheer, the....networking? Oh yes, I am now among the millions of people who work in a field that requires obligatory appearances at functions that require forced small talk and schmoozing in an effort to make those connections with high-ranking administrators who might one day have some pull in advancing one's career, all under the guise of 'celebrating the holidays'. This is a little sad for me, as I've always been one to rebel against that kind of thing simply because I think 80% of the time, it's disingenuine, it makes me uncomfortable, and quite frankly, I can think of a million better things to do with my time.

[This might also have something to do with a lack of maturity on my part; something I think can reflect quite poorly on my professional life. It's either that, or just a lag in accepting these things as part of a career. But I digress...]

Anyway, so I was invited to three of these little shin-digs here at the university this week. Discomfort aside, the bottom line is that I'm just not good in these situations. But I went, to all three of them, and I survived. Not without some minor wounds to my self-confidence, mind you, but hey, it's a learning experience, right?

The first party was a reception thrown by the president of the university. Fortunately, my boss was also attending this one, and she has been endlessly understanding about how overwhelmed I tend to get with the sheer number of people on this campus I am expected to eventually know. This is still a little intimidating, only because she's been here for 10 years, I think, and knows just about everybody on campus. We can't walk anywhere, to any meeting, in any building on campus without stopping for her to talk to a dozen people on the way. I envy that, in some ways, because let's face it, it's nice to feel established in a place.

Anyway, so at the president's reception, my boss stuck close to me at first, but eventually she got caught up talking with someone and I was left to 'work the room' by myself. This is probably my least-favorite part of these things. I stood there for a moment, grateful for the cup I was holding so I wouldn't have to worry about what to do with my hands, looking around at all of these people involved in conversations with other people, and wondered if I couldn't just sneak out for the next 30 mintues. But, while there is a part of me that hates these things, there's another part of me that wants to get over my discomfort and impress my boss (excuse me while I hide my face in shame).

I moved to the outskirts of the crowd, tried to look like I was just observing, smiled at people who had to sqeeze past me (there wasn't a lot of room), and actually made an attempt to inch my way into a conversation, but I quickly realized the people talking were friends and I had absolutely nothing to add, so I resigned myself to trying to look like I was just as relaxed and laid back as could be, standing there by myself. I was admittedly (and probably visibly) relieved when Brian, the graphic designer I've been working with to re-design my program's applications, etc. walked in and made a bee-line for my corner. I think it's safe to say he's not one for these things, either. I asked him what he did over the weekend, he brightened and said, "Oh! I went to the 9:30 club to see Rusted Root." Hallelujah, now that is a conversation I can be a part of! Fortunately, by the time we were done commiserating on the virtues of Rusted Root and their undeniable ability to pull off a kick-butt live performance, I could leave feeling like I'd put in an acceptable amount of face time.

The last two functions weren't nearly as stressful, the second one being a sit-down luncheon for those of us who taught a UNIV course, and the third being the luncheon my program (meaning my boss and I) throw for the people in different offices who help us with fundraising, planning, etc. At the UNIV luncheon I actually met quite a few people who were easy to talk to, and not quite as intimidating. To be honest, it made me re-think my decision not to teach the course again. And our luncheon turned out to be a small group of 5 women and not one part of the conversation ever revolved around work. I daresay I enjoyed myself at the last two.

What have I learned from these soirees that are really just additional work functions? Several things:

• I think it's safe to say I am not a networking person, which is kind of ironic seeing as I encourage my students to do it as much as possible. I am a hypocrite.
• Remember the Myers-Briggs personality survey? Well, I'm an Introvert; I always have been. But this summer, when I had to take it again for the first time in years, I scored much closer to Extrovert. I was surprised--shocked even, but the moderator said all it meant was that I had picked up more Extrovert tendencies, probably because I had to for my career. This makes a heck of a lot of sense, and maybe learning how to negotiate these types of events is just an extension of those extroverted behaviors.
• These things will always require useless small talk ("That was some snowfall last week, wasn't it?"). Get over it.
• If nothing else, the food has consistently been good. And for someone who is on a tight budget at the moment, anything that is free and doesn't consist of either pasta, PB&J, or mac & cheese, is a damn good motivator.
• I do recognize that eventually, once I have been here longer and have established myself on campus, these things might become less about networking, and more about catching up with accquaintances I don't see as often as I'd like to.

Hey, at least it wasn't a 3-day conference. That's an entirely different set of career anxieties for another entry!

4 days left until my week long vacation (not that I'm counting down or anything).....